We can help our children develop attributes or "assets" that will make them more resilient throughout their lives.
Life can be tough even in a child's world, so children need help from parents in acquiring resiliency. Adults also need to work on building their own resiliency to cope with the stresses of careers and running a home. Below are some of the key elements that contribute to this important quality.
Assets to give your children
- Relationships and reaching out: strong parent–child relationships, social skills and self-confidence, the ability to ask for help, understanding of personal boundaries, belonging to communities and groups
- Emotional skills: positive self-esteem, ability to calm oneself, ability to talk about feelings, sense of humour, ability to distract oneself, ability to see a hopeful side of problems and challenges, knowing how to act appropriately in various situations
- Competence: goal setting and planning, problem solving and reasoning skills, practical skills like being able to cook, clean, budget, fix things and find information, the ability to look after oneself and be independent, assertiveness, perseverance, good judgment and critical thinking skills
- Optimism: confidence in one's own skills and abilities, ability to judge risks, positive childhood experiences, supportive family and community, being generous and supportive of others
Transferring these assets to the workplace
- Relationships: Treat people well and be a good listener. Try to see situations from their point of view. Don't criticize co-workers in front of others. Admit mistakes and apologize. Forgive mistakes of others.
- Emotional intelligence: Be more aware of your emotions and those of others (empathy). Try to act on the basis of ideas, not feelings. Pay attention to body language.
- Competence: Request training when you need it. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Consult people who know more than you do. Take advantage of outside training opportunities. Read publications relevant to your field.
- Optimism: Coach yourself to see bad situations as temporary setbacks rather than disasters. Look for one small step to improve the situation. Celebrate success.
- Coping skills: Keep a mental list of the things that help you cope with difficult situations and use them in tough times. Break problems down into parts – change the things you can change and live with the parts you cannot. Permit yourself some "down time" – take breaks and vacations.
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